Why Runaway Devil?

That was the question someone asked me yesterday and, believe me, it comes up more often than you might think. People usually ask me whether it has something to do with dark forces. I always answer that it depends. It always depends on who is asking.

But the truth is: no.

It has nothing to do with darkness. I am sorry to disappoint you.

I was a child when I used to wander through the gallery of my small town, spending hours seated inside Avalon Bookstore, which happened to be right across from the beauty salon my mother went to. I would leaf, utterly enchanted, through books that told the story of Ancient Egypt. I had a splendid affinity for that era, one I could not understand myself, and in the realm of past-life speculation, perhaps I had once come from those lands. But that is not the answer you, my reader, are looking for.

The answer was in the book that stood across from the “History” section.

It must have been around 2002 when I saw that book, the one whose title sent shivers down my spine. I did not know what it was about, nor who its author was, but there it was, and for a brief moment, the book and I looked at each other. I should stress that the title terrified me.

The book was The Noonday Demon.

That was it. I no longer wanted to look at the thing.

Scary, right? But I would come to meet that demon some ten years later, when, at the end of 2012, I fell into a severe depression. Nearly stagnant, there were no other ways to pass my days except by reading.

The author was Andrew Solomon, a brilliant man with whom I had the pleasure of exchanging a few emails. In his book, he offered several narratives surrounding depression.

So I adopted the nickname based on his work. It was the noonday demon, and I, I was the runaway devil.

I suppose this story might have been more enjoyable if I had not revealed the origin of my nickname. Perhaps if I had left it covered in mystery, wrapped in my own aura of shadows and discontent, it could have merged with the legend of myself.

But no. There will be no merging, because the reason is less vulgar than the imaginative minds wandering around out there.